Some new pics of me reacting to more Bob Gosse humor:
Lots of other new pics up on the Flickr account. A few things before I take off posting for two days:
-The actors get in this week; the guy playing me on Monday, the other two on Wednesday. The announcement should be in Variety on Monday. If it's not, I am making the announcement on this blog on Tuesday anyway, fuck it. They've had long enough.
-I will then post about each of the five leads over that week, one a day, and give you my thoughts on why we picked them, what they are like, and anything else. There are a ton of pics and video of the guy playing me I have ready to post, I think you'll like it.
-We're only 16 days away from the start of principal photography. I almost never get nervous...but I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't at least a little anxious. Don't get me wrong--we are completely on schedule, everything is going great, and as long as we keep putting one foot in front of the other, we're going to get there and get it done...but fucking-a, it's hard to stay completely calm. It's a good type of anxious, the kind that comes when preparedness meets opportunity and you get a chance to perform what you've been practicing, but still...it's there.
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Over the course of the production blog for all the people, like myself, who haven't worked in movies before, I will describe what the various jobs on the film are. I've already described what the director, the casting director, the production designer, the line producer and the locations manager do. Now I will go over three of the key pieces of the crew we added this week: The 1st Assistant Director, the Director of Photography, and the Set Decorator.
1st Assistant Director: Remember how I said the Line Producer is the First Sergeant of the movie, the guy who bridges the gap between the producers orders and the crew? Well, if that's true, then the 1st AD is the Platoon Sergeant, the person responsible for the crew actually carrying out the orders of the Line Producer and the Director. From Skillset:
"First ADs' main duties are assisting the Director, co-ordinating all production activity, and supervising the cast and crew. First ADs' core responsibility is to keep filming on schedule by driving it forward. They also control discipline on the set, supervise the other Assistant Directors, and oversee the preparation of the daily 'call sheet' (a document detailing daily shooting logistics, which is distributed to all cast and crew). When drawing up the shooting schedule, First ADs must also be aware of budgetary constraints, cast availability and script coverage. Preparing the storyboard, overseeing the hiring of locations, props and equipment, and checking weather reports, are all key pre-production duties for Firsts. During production, they must ensure that everyone is on standby and ready for the Director's cue for action."
The 1st AD on our movie is a guy named Dieter Busch. I only met him a few days ago, but I already like him. He's a tough, no-nonsense guy and has a sense of humor that fits exactly with everyone else on the movie. He was Richard Kelly's 1st on The Box, and I can see why Richard gushes like a school girl about him. He's the type that does his job so well you almost don't even notice him, which is exactly what a 1st AD should do.
Director of Photography: Also called a Cinematographer, the DP is one of the most important creative positions on the movie. I was confused at first about the difference between a DP and a Director, because to someone not in the movie business, you think the Director is the one responsible for the cameras and shit, but not really. It's also confusing because some directors essentially do the DP's job (like Steven Soderbergh), while others only focus on actors. Skillset can clear it up:
"DoPs work closely with the Director and Production Designer to give a film its visual signature. The role of the Director of Photography or Cinematographer is to provide a film with its unique visual identity, or look. DoPs must discover the photographic heart of a screenplay...[t]hey realize the desired look using lighting, framing, camera movement, etc."
Our DP is a guy named Suki Medencevic. He is an ethnic Bosnian, and has a lot of European sensibilities in his camera work. The guy has a list of credits that include some of the most beautifully shot indie films of the past decade, like GOLEMATA VODA. And from what I have seen about the guy, he really is an artist in every sense of the word. You can just tell he sees the world differently than the rest of us.
Your first thought is probably what mine was, "What? Why would we want such an arty guy for this movie?" I know, I know, we are not making an "artiste" movie, but if you stop and think about it, Suki makes perfect sense. Nils and I know nothing about shooting a movie or camera angles or lighting or shit like that, we just know what we want the movie to feel like, and Bob's true strength is working with actors and visualizing the interactions between them. Thus we needed an artistic guy to balance us out--a guy who was a genius at using the camera and making it do what we wanted it to do. Even though we don't want the movie to be arty, we do want it to look great, and that takes skill. Plus, we need someone to be all that, but who wasn't a "delicate genius" and instead could work quickly and efficiently. To find an awesome artist who can get it done fast--that is very rare, and that's what Suki is.
It's funny watching Bob and Suki talk about stuff. They walk around with their heads in the clouds, taking pictures, talking about sodium vapor bulbs and three perf and nerding out about all kinds of other shit I don't understand. Then Bob will walk me through the shot, describing what it will actually look like on film, and I'll say, "That's fucking genius. It's exactly how I saw it in my head, except better. Sweet!"
Set Decorator: The Set Decorator, Kristin Bicksler, introduced herself to me yesterday, and described what her actual job on the movie is. All I got was that she is in charge or fabrics and shit like that, essentially like the interior decorator for the movie. Clearly she does more than that, but I wasn't listening to her because I was thinking about how awesome I am, so let's go to Skillset for more of an explanation:
"Set Decorators provide anything that furnishes a film set, excluding structural elements. They may have to provide a range of items, from lumps of sugar and tea spoons, to newspapers, furniture and drapes, to cars, carriages, or even cats and dogs. There are two types of props: action props, or all props that are described in the shooting script; and dressing props, or items that help to bring characters to life or to give a certain atmosphere and sense of period to a place."
There are so many positions in the art department, it's going to take me some time to figure out what they are and what the differences are between them. So bear with me. We're probably going to eventually do video interviews with everyone where they describe their jobs in their own words and shit like that. It'll be cool.
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This is an email I just got from my book agent:
"So a motivational/Christian publisher, in Nigeria, wants to publish I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL. Wow. Also Tucker, you are on 4 different bestseller lists right now:
New York Times #11
USA Today #93
Boston Globe #8
Washington Post #9
This is crazy."
I'm telling you people: You don't know how big this movie is going to be. Most people are doubting it, and that's fine, but even the ones who think they believe in me, don't really know. Assuming we get the filming right--and as always, that's a big 'if'--the ground work is set for this to be huge.
EDIT: I just got the NY Times Best Seller list for next week. My book is #8, the highest it's ever been. It's in its 30th month in print.
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On the movie, I have one primary assistant, Jeff Waldman. Jeff has been working for me for over a year and is a smart, resourceful guy who is a master problem solver. His official title on the movie is "Associate Producer" and even though it sounds fancy to the uninitiated, to anyone in Hollywood it means "producers assistant."
I have another assistant on the movie, Greg Dunaway. He is technically not employed by the movie, but works directly for me. He takes all the photos and videos for the website, and though he is a pretty talented kid, I got him for super cheap because he literally just graduated from film school a month ago.
Jeff is former Air Force, grew up in a lower middle class neighborhood in Palmdale, California (which is shithole), and is just a tough dude. I mean that literally--in his spare time, he does two things: Makes knives and fights. Like, real, professional MMA fighting; he gets into a cage with tiny gloves on his hands and punches, kicks or chokes people out. A good guy to have your back.
Greg on the other hand...he came from a different background than Jeff. Rich kid from Phoenix, exclusive private school, snobby Catholic college, frat guy (no popped collars), and a film major...yeah, he thinks he's better'n us. Don't get me wrong, he's a good guy, and if he keeps working hard the day will come when he is a successful and well respected director...but at this point in his life, he is a douchebag in the way that all guys are when they are 22 (believe me I was WAY worse at his age). Being that he grew up rich and sheltered makes it twice as bad. He hasn't quite learned that in the real world, actions have consequences.
Yesterday, Jeff posted something on the thread about how Greg punches like a girl (he does, I've seen him):
"Honestly there isn't a day that goes by where Bob doesn't make a joke and everyone stares at him like he just accidentally declared a patient dead. God bless him, he gets the vision and will bring it to life, but he tells a joke like Tucker's assistant throws a punch."
For some reason I cannot conceive of, Greg decided that he would snap back at Jeff. In a confrontational way!:
"Yeah, yeah. Go back to your angry masturbation and drunken mumblings about women. Only Tucker is allowed to demean me in such a public forum. And who insults people via Youtube? Nerd."
That was yesterday. Today at the office, Jeff hands me a video camera and says, "Follow me." This is what happened:
A few things:
-Don't get your panties in a tizzy--Greg is fine, and a rear naked choke is perfectly safe as long as it is released quickly, which Jeff did.
-I'm actually proud of Greg. He showed up on set thinking his shit didn't stink, and in a week, he has humbled himself and really started to learn. There are other reasons that Greg needs to learn a lesson that I won't put up on the blog to save him from the embarrassment (because deep down, he is a good kid). The fact he took his DESERVED humility like a man is proof he is growing up. Good for him. We all have to get our butts kicked a few times to get straight--sadly, Greg's whipping is now on YouTube.
-My favorite part is how Murph comes over and licks him to wake him up. She is such a sweet little pup.
-Greg is my video guy, so he actually had to edit the video of him getting choked out. Awesome.
-Notice how calm Jeff stays. Dude is like Hannibal fucking Lecter. I am never going to cross him. This is a still of his face mid-choke. Wow.
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Thank god for Bob Gosse.
Not only is he very good at all the things that come with being a director (dealing with actors, laying out shots, etc), but the man has infinite patience and calm. This pretty much makes him the complete opposite of me, and it makes for a perfect creative symmetry. I am hot-headed and rash and angry, and amidst my storm of raw emotion and creative fire, he is as calm and placid as a Shaolin Monk, never faltering or wavering or being anything other than serene, with Nils being like a balancing point in between our two extremes. It's pretty awesome, actually.
There is only one problem with Bob: He has some of the DUMBEST jokes and puns you have ever heard. I mean, they are beyond grandpa bad, into the realm of Carrot Top bad. All day long, through casting and scouting and meetings, Bob will crack these preposterously bad, groan-inducing jokes. They are so bad, they are almost funny, and it's become a running joke on the set about someone with such a horribly schmaltzy sense of humor is directing a comedy.
Well, as I was running through the pics to post on our flickr account, I started to notice that a lot of them were reaction shots of me to Bob's jokes. As individual pictures, they are perhaps a bit off-putting, but once I put them all together, they became a hilarious montage of two things:
1. The whole range of my disgust faces, and,
2. How bad I am at hiding my emotions (i.e. I have the worst poker face ever).
Now that you get the back story, enjoy my favorite three reaction pics, and then feel free to peruse the whole set of pictures I call, "Tucker reacts to Bob's jokes." I am sure by the end of this movie, this set of pics will be VERY LARGE.
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The question I have gotten the most since I put this blog up has been, "How can I be in the movie?" The speaking roles are already cast with real actors, but we have a ton of parts to fill for non-speaking roles, also known as "extras." These roles will be filled by professional extras who are hired for our movie by the Extras Casting Director.
That leaves pretty much nothing left, and that was on purpose. At first, I had no intention of opening the casting of any roles, extras or speaking, to the general public. Although the majority of my fans and readers are great, there are enough of the weirdos, trolls and stalkers out there that I didn't want to be bothered having to deal with that crap. One rotten apple spoiling the bunch, etc.
But then I thought to myself--why let those dipshits ruin everyone elses fun? It's like responding to terrorism by removing the freedoms of the people you are trying to protect--once you do that, the terrorists have won anyway. Besides, my fans have given so much to me in so many ways, I figure its only fair to try to give something back by letting those who are interested be involved, even in a small way, in my movie. So, even though most of our extras will be cast the normal way, I have decided to open up some of the extras casting to my fans and readers. If you want to be an extra on the movie, here is how the process will work. Follow the instructions EXACTLY:
1. Send an email to this address: bihextras@gmail.com
2. Put "Beer In Hell Extra" in the subject line
3. Put your name and contact info in the body of the email.
4. Attach at least TWO pictures of yourself (the more the better). They need to be recent, clear and preferably only you. If the pics each have ten people in them, we aren't going to spend the time figuring out which person you are.
From those emails, me and my assistants will look at them and forward the ones who we may be able to use for a scene or scenes to the extras casting director, and if he agrees, he will contact you about being an extra. A few things:
-Please don't get your hopes up. Chances of being selected are low, especially if you are a guy. Male extras are easy to find. Being female helps you, and being a hot female really helps. [If you are a really hot female with a great body, can dance, and are willing to do topless--definitely send an email. We have a big strip club scene to fill, and your chances of being selected are good. If you are a real stripper/porn star/suicide girl/web cam whore/whatever, let us know, link your site, etc, your chances are even better.]
-Don't do this expecting to hang out with me or anything like that. You may never even meet me, because you may be in a scene that shoots when I'm not on set. [Obviously if you are a hot girl and want to hang out, that can easily be arranged, but email me separately from the extras thing and we'll figure it out: tuckermax@gmail.com]
-We only shoot Monday-Friday, so please don't expect to do this on a weekend trip.
-If you get selected, we won't pay for your travel here (we're shooting in Shreveport, Louisiana) or for your hotel or anything like that. You are on your own. There is food on set during shooting though, and you can have some of that.
-But, if you are selected, you DO get paid. It's not much--I think it might be minimum wage--but it's something.
-I want to be clear about this--being an extra is not glamorous. There is a lot of standing around and waiting and being bored, all for the chance to be in the background of a shot that might not even be in the movie. We aren't going to treat extras like shit the way they do on other movie sets, but you definitely won't be the stars. For the most part, you are expected to do exactly as you're asked, be quiet when not being spoken to, and be ready when you're told.
-That being said, it is not unheard of for an extra to be on-set promoted up to a speaking part. It is rare, but it has happened. In fact, our director has done it on his other films.
If you know and accept all that, and still want to be involved, follow the instructions above, and good luck.
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So, as you may know, we have a contact form on this blog, and if you fill it out and put something in it, Nils and I get it in an actual email. Pretty simple.
This about as standard practice as it gets on blogs, but apparently not so much in the movie business. The idea that normal cast and crew can interact with the producers of a movie on any level beyond cursory glances on set is apparently not only not common, it elicits reactions of horror from some people. I literally had a producer--no one I am working with--tell me I shouldn't put a contact form up, because then I'd have to deal with "all of those people." Who am I, Prince William, like no one look at me or something? Jesus tittyfucking Christ some of these Hollywood people take themselves WAY too seriously.
Of course, when we did get some cast and crew start emailing us, he decided to have fun with it and it has led to some funny email exchanges. These are two just from Shreveport, the first is an actor who got a small, one line part, then I list my response, Nils response and Jeff's response (my assistant):
Actor:
Tucker,
Just wanted to say hello and that I am actually playing a small speaking role in the film. I just booked the role of "Friend #2" and I must say I am really thankful and looking forward to it. The script had me rolling so I know we will have a great time! I just moved to Shreveport for the film business and was happy to get a role in your film. If you need anything or wanna grab a brew or something I'll show you around! Take care and look forward to meeting you. I will be on set July 30th, but until then, best of luck and rock on!"
My response:
"You're fired off the movie. Don't bother showing up, we gave the role to a goat."
Nils:
"Don't you know you're not supposed to contact the producers directly?! It's the Martin Lawrence Rule. No contact of any kind unless made first by the producers. You should fire your agent. IMMEDIATELY."
Jeff's:
"Clearly at the very least he is allowed to address Dr. Tucker Max through me, but then he runs the risk of being beaten like a creature of labor. Seriously, speak to Tucker directly and you're probably fired. Look me in the eye and I will bury you alongside so many hamsters and lizards from my youth."
The poor kid actually thought for a second that I was serious and he was fired. Which would have upped the funny substantially, but even I am not that mean. Another one from the sound mixer who hasn't started work yet:
"Tucker,
I'm your sound mixer, Larry Long.
Man I've been reading your blog, and it excites me even more to want to work on your movie. Jaded as they come,it's a job werkin' in the movies, yeah right. Your humor is right along side of mine. I look forward to meeting you ,Bob, Darren and the rest.
Rock on bro you are rolling,"
My response:
"YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO PRODUCERS WITHOUT PERMISION.
You're fired.
We've replaced you with a goat."
Yes, I know I used the goat line twice, get over it. I can only be so funny, and I'm saving it all for the movie.
I would much prefer that the hot girls we have hired for a bunch of parts in the movie email me and ask to "work on their lines" at my place, but they have yet to do that. I guess we booked the smart actresses. Well, at least it'll make the movie better.
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As promised, I give you the I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell Flickr account. You can either subscribe our Flickr feed, or subscribe to the RSS feed for the photostream, or you can just check it all the time, whichever, it's all on that page.
We broke everything down by activity, so right now there are eight sets; scouting, casting, costume design, production office, rehearsal, hanging out, filming, and Tucker's Favorites, which are, predictably, my favorite pics. We may add new sets later, we'll see. And of course, this is only the beginning, we will be adding new pics almost every day, and a BUNCH of pics once the movie is out. I am holding back probably 75% of the pics we take, because they give something in the movie away and like I have repeatedly said, I don't want to do that.
Here are a few of my favorites so far.
This is a candy bra the costume designer bought as a potential stripper outfit:
This is me adjusting myself during a costume design meeting. Office appropriate, I am not:
I love Chick-Fil-A:
We are NOT filming here, but we thought this location was hilarious:
This is how you deal with annoying girls who keep asking for a part in the movie:
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What I am posting below is a real post, written by some guy I don't know at all. He is just someone who posts on the messageboard attached to my site. He wrote this in one of the threads about the movie, and I wanted to post it here for two reasons:
1. I couldn't get the Flickr account with the hundreds of pics we've taken so far up for today, and I wanted to post something new (the Flickr account will definitely be up and running tomorrow, it takes FOREVER to download 1gig+ of pics).
2. He gets it. From day one hour one, Nils and I had a clear vision of what we wanted to do with this movie. Very very few other people have gotten it, and almost no one outside of the people we are working with; this guy did. I can't really write out what I am trying to do because, coming from me, it sounds like hubris and pomp and puffery. It's my movie, of course I am going to say grandiose things about it. Remarkably, this guy said everything I would say, in a better way than I'd say it, without reading the script or even talking to me about it. Take it for what it's worth, just another take on me and the movie, before it comes out. But from my perspective, he nails it:
"You know, the fact that you are so goddamn famous pisses me off. I don't understand it. You became like, sneaky famous.
When I came here, there was a website, a nascent message board (not even this one - the OLD board), some funny stories, a 15 minute segment on MTV, and a book of pick-up lines. Whoop-de-frickin doo. I figured that even the best Internet celebrities had all the longevity of Star Wars Kid, or maybe one of the stars of the eighth season of Road Rules.
Then out comes this Beer in Hell book, to which I pay no attention because it's just stories, many of which are already on the website. I already read those. Nobody I know in real life has ever heard of you or your book. Sure, I read your crack-pipe-dream-sounding plans about some huge TV series that's coming, and surprise surprise, it falls through. Color me shocked.
A year goes by and a movie now looks like it's actually in the works. I remain unimpressed because I figure if the bible thumpers on TBN can make two Left Behind movies with Kirk Cameron and Louis Gossett, Jr., anybody can make a movie. I figure at this point you've ridden that pony as far as it will go, and your fame will cap out at, say, Andy Milonakis levels.
Two weeks ago I'm browsing around at Amazon and I wander over to your book's page, and I see this shit:
#1 in Books > Literature & Fiction > United States > Humor
I'm baffled. How the fuck did this guy, who nobody I know has ever heard of, who gets no exposure in the mainstream media, who hasn't been linked by Fark or Digg in eons, get the number one fucking humor book in the United States? And it's #1 eighteen months after it was published. What the fuck? Something is not right.
So I go down to Barnes and Noble, and there it is, an actual copy of the book. I buy it on a whim. I bring it home and leave it on my toilet tank for later when I'm not busy.
Later on, I start reading it. Then I keep reading it. About every second page, I have to put it down because I'm going to crack a rib from laughing so hard. Up until this point in my life, I have been absolutely convinced that no writing can be that funny. It's just words on a page. I've read lots of humor books and I chuckle here and there and appreciate them, but not one of them has ever had me literally crying. I am alone, in my house, and I'm trying my hardest not to pull a stomach muscle because of a book. I finished it last night.
Fine. Fuck you. You win.
I find myself no longer able to turn my cynicism into skepticism. This movie is going to be absolutely epic. It's going to redefine the male-centered sex comedy genre. It's going to make them re-rate American Pie as PG-13, because it is just so far beyond it, and American Pie was a milestone movie. I haven't seen the script of course, but if I'm sitting in the theater and somebody on-screen says "Hey, it's not my fault you like manatees" the theater owner had better hope I'm wearing Depends, because I'm going to piss myself.
You know how Saw came out and then a whole rash of gore-heavy horror movies came out direct-to-DVD for the next four years? That's your movie. Everybody and their mom is going to try to cash in on this, but they're going to think the magic formula is boobies and saying "fuck" a lot. Before I read the book, that's what I thought the formula for your movie would be. But I was wrong.
It's not the boobies, it's not the "fucks," it's the "rhinocerous dump" and the "what's the matter, did your daddy neglect you?" The magic formula isn't offensiveness, shock, or outrageousness. It's not fucking a pie in the kitchen.
The magic formula is honesty.
This shit is so funny because it's so goddamn true. It's doubly funny because it runs counter to everything that the entire society of pussified men and low-self-esteem women have come to expect. It's like calling bullshit on everything, all at once.
Anyway, I may still be a hopeless pussy with no game whatsoever, and nothing can change that. But, I can admit when I'm wrong.
Shine on, you crazy diamond."
Taken from this post. And not to nitpick, but the book was published in January of 2006. It's been out 30 months, not 18.
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Just as promised, I give you the first of what will be many, many videos of all stages and aspects of this production. Not those stupidly staged actor interviews that are boring and repetitive--I am going way beyond that. As much as possible, I am going to take you beyond "behind the scenes," and into the real day to day reality of making a movie.
These are the first videos, taken as we record the first song Paul Wall is doing for the movie. In the first one, we are talking about which track we are going to use behind the vocals, and the various issues that come with that (like how much certain beats cost, etc). Someone suggests Paul produce his own track, but he says he doesn't know how to lay a track, so I bust on him a little (FYI--the song playing in the background at the end is NOT anything we are using for the movie at all).
This is the second video. It's the first time Nils and I hear Paul actually rap the lyrics we wrote. We're pretty excited. For obvious reasons, I had to delete the audio so you wouldn't hear the song or lyrics, but I thought the looks on our faces were worth posting. The guy running the sound board is T. Ferris, Paul's manager.
Just so you know--the "studio" we are recording in is in T. Ferris' huge house in suburban Houston. They put the recording booth in the closet, and just use a spare bedroom for the sound board. It's fucking ghetto, but appropriate I guess.
I know this isn't a lot, considering that Greg took four hours of video, but almost all of it was just us sitting around or is boring as hell, or we'd have to mute the audio because we are talking about the song or its playing or something like that.
Once the movie is out in theaters, I'll be able to release about a dozen clips that I can't now, some of which are really cool. Greg got us on film picking the track we were going to use, discussing various changes, going over some other things I can't talk about now but you'll know when the movie comes out, etc. What's going to be so cool about that is that by then the movie will be finished, and in the minds of most people a solid, defined thing. But what these videos will show is not only how we got to the end result, but the decisions we made to get there, and how they could have been different. It's going to be really fucking cool.
And here is the YouTube channel for the movie, all the videos we post will be put up here. You can subscribe and follow that way if you want.
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We just got home from Houston, and I think we listened to the song Paul did about 100 times on the drive back. It's so fucking good. I can't even process it yet, how good it is.
It's weird--Nils and I sat down, banged these lyrics out in no time (actually, it was almost all Nils work), drove down to Houston, went to Paul's managers studio, and Paul laid the vocals in no time (actually, it was 18 minutes total from the time he went into the sound booth to when be came out--dude is just a fucking pro). We left Houston with the song on fucking CD, basically done. And it is SICK! Shit just isn't supposed to work like this, be this easy.
Actually--what am I saying? I have busted my ass for six years to get here. Nevermind, I am so punch drunk happy about this song I can't even think straight.
I would totally release it for free right now, but obviously I can't, it would spoil the whole thing. I know it sucks that all I can do it talk about a song and not play it, but I am so excited I had to do something. I can't just sit here bumping this song pissing off the neighbors all night.
The very best part: Of the two songs we wrote for Paul, this was the second best. Wait until we get the other one recorded (we couldn't do it this time for a reason, but will do it soon).
I'll leave you with this email Bunny sent me after hearing the song:
"You know, sometimes I forget about how enormous this movie is going to be, mainly because it's you guys doing it, and I've just been around you all the time for so long, I'm so used to how funny you guys are.
But man. When I hear your writing rapped by Paul Wall, it just seems surreal, and I think "Dear god, these boys are going to rule the world." I'm so excited for you guys. You're going to fucking explode."
Goddamn right!
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A lot of people have been asking me about what kind of music we are going to use in the movie. That is more of a question for Nils, as he is the music guy, or better yet, for Chris Mollere, who is the music supervisor on the movie. They will post about that later, because if it were left up to me, the music in the movie would all be southern rap, with a little Em, Erick Sermon, Biggie and Wu thrown in for good measure.
On that note, I am driving to Houston as we speak to go work on a song for the movie with Paul Wall. I would have flown, but direct flights from Shreveport to Houston are $1000. I can fly to LA from Shreveport for $700. If you can figure that out (without using the words "economies of scale"), you're smarter than me.
Paul is probably going to do two (or maybe three) songs for the movie, and this one we're doing today is different from the rest in that Nils and I actually co-wrote it with Paul. I would tell you about it, but again, I want to save everything possible for the theater. Nils and I have never written or recorded a song before, so we had planned an overnight trip, had reams of lyrics and were ready to spend as much time in Houston as needed. Little did we know Paul Wall works on a different schedule:
"But this seriously shouldn't take more then 20 mins. I record songs allllll day everyday and a few verses like this is soooo easy."
I guess that solves that.
The good news is that I have my assistant with me and the DV cam, so we will get footage of all of this and post it soon.
I probably won't post again today for obvious reasons or tomorrow because we have a full day scouting, but I'll tell you what's coming soon: We have cast announcement coming as soon as McKittrick can get his PR firm to write a press release. If they worked the way Paul Wall did, it would have been done two weeks ago, but whatever. Welcome to Hollywood.
And we have two more announcements coming probably this week or early next week that should be awesome; one is about how people can be extras on the movie (I'll give you full instructions), and the other is about a contest between Nils and I we are going to run during production that is going to absolutely blow people's minds. You'll see.
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In my last piece about working with professionals, I talked about how every time we wanted to make a change that cost more money, Nils, Sean, Bob, Eve and I always said the same thing, "Let's run it by Darren and see if he can work it into the budget." A lot of people wrote me about this, and didn't understand or misunderstood my point, so I want to elaborate on how and what it's like to work on a movie with a tight budget.
The first thing you have to understand is that there are many many different ways to make a movie, and each way presents its own problems and issues. For instance, if this was a studio movie, the Line Producer would probably have been hired by the studio and would in essence be their axeman; the battles with him would probably be contentious and detrimental to the creative output. It doesn't have to be this way, but more often than not, the studio executives are so focused on the bottom line they cripple the artistic efforts of the creatives.
But we are making an independent movie, so it's not the same situation here. Though we have a hard cap ten million dollar budget, and though Darren is in charge of keeping the production below that, he isn't the enemy (for fucks sake, I am the one who hired Darren, so obviously he is on our side). His goal is the same as ours: Make the best movie possible within the budget (as opposed to save the most money possible). We--Bob, Nils, Eve and I--realize that Darren has to enforce this limit because if he doesn't, we run out of money early and the whole movie is fucked, but at the same time, we want to squeeze as much as possible out of the budget.
What this creates is a sort of low level artistic friction that makes everyone think not in terms of "how do I get what I want" but rather, "can we make this happen, and how do we do it?" (this is opposed to the standard high level friction between a money-hoarding studio and free-spending artists that usually just fuck shit up). And though I never would have thought this would be the case, as far as I have seen, this friction has made the movie better. It may be counterintuitive, but sometimes limits on art can force the best out of it.
Sean McKittrick explained it to me as such, "When you have just a little bit less money than what you need, it forces you to focus on what's truly important in the story, and get that right. It makes you cut the fat and get to the meat, which is all anyone wants to see anyway." Considering this dude made a classic movie on a budget LESS than what we are doing our movie on, it would be wise for me to shut up and listen to him.
I would love to give you specific examples of how this has played out on our movie thus far, but that's going to have to wait until the DVD because I can't really do that without giving away plot and story details. I will give you a general example that I think will explain how this is played out on this movie:
The strip club. As has already been released, the plot revolves around a bachelor party at a strip club. Originally, the strip club was going to be based on the old Baby Dolls in Dallas, that I described as such in my original Austin Road Trip Story,
Baby Dolls should be the model from which all strip clubs are cast. The neon glow from its trim-molding and signage can be seen from miles away. A huge pink one-story stand-alone building rising out of a sea of asphalt with pictures of nearly naked girls on the 4-story billboard looming over it from the parking lot. The entrance is two huge wooden doors adorned with brass fixtures and two NFL linebacker-sized bouncers. It is covered by a pink awning that extends up the walk about ten feet. The huge oval main stage is flanked by an enfilade of four smaller side stages, each with a brass pole reaching from floor to ceiling. Mirrors cover every wall and extend to every ceiling. Two full bars, and two beer bars are staffed by a phalanx of female bartenders and cocktail waitresses. And MOST importantly: it's all nude. No pasties. No g-strings. No crotch tape. Nothing between you and the naked, nubile flesh of attractive women...except dollar bills. The girls were hot beyond hot. Dozens of incredibly beautiful and sexy women, each giving smiles that conveyed the sincerity of a single mother with rent due.
Of course, I wanted to build a set that mirrored this exactly and shoot it all in there. Fat chance. That would have busted the shit out of the budget (just on the interior alone). So we had to find another solution. Russell ended up getting ahold of this amazing old building that used to be...well, you're just going to have to see when it comes out. But needless to say, by not having unlimited money to spend, we had to rethink the assumptions of the plot and distill everything down to its core elements, focus on those, and then be creative about the solution. It even forced us to make small plot changes to accommodate the new location, and Nils and I turned that problem into a solution that not only saved us money, but made the story better.
This situation works as long as everyone is on the same page and has the same goal--to make the best movie possible. If that's the case, then this sort of creative friction works. But it doesn't always work of course. You can have someone in a key position of a film who sucks, and that throws everything off. When people start to think in terms of what benefits them personally, or put really any goal above doing what makes the movie better, that's when you get problems. And of course there is a point where you are no longer cutting fat, and have started cutting meat, which does make the movie worse.
We don't have the problem of having someone who sucks, which is very nice, because I don't deal well with people who suck. From day one on this movie, every personnel decision was made by asking two questions, 1. Can they do the job? and 2. Are they good to work with (I am actually doing a big post about that specific issue soon). And though we have come close to cutting meat a few times on this movie, we haven't done that yet, thankfully, mainly due to the excellent budget management of the accountant and line producer, and the genius of the creative team (mostly me, of course).
For those of you outside the film business, I can't explain to you how rare it is to have a situation like this, where everyone is not only capable and talented, but they are all working towards a common creative goal along with a financing team that understands that sometimes you have to spend a little money to get the creative aspect right and is willing to back its creatives. And if you are in the film business, you either wish you were working on a movie like that, or think I am full of shit because you think these situations exist only in fairy tales.
All I can say is that--so far--we have that situation, and it's a true joy to work on a movie where everyone shares a common goal, and watch it come together. This is what collaboration should be like.
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Most of my posts focus on me and my experience in making this movie. If you don't know about the movie business, you probably read this blog and think that everything on the movie revolves around me. That was definitely the case during the writing and dealmaking stages, and that is still true to some extent, but now that we are on location and heavy into pre-production, it's not really the case anymore.
At this point, I am just one cog in the machine that is producing this movie, and not even the most important cog. Not even close, actually. I am in the strange position of watching the pros go about their business, and oftentimes not having a lot to contribute. There are many other people doing a bunch of other work, most of it more important that what I am doing (at least right now). I want to highlight some of them so that if you have no experience with the movie business, you can get a vision of what's going on.
I've already gone over the director and the casting director, so now let's focus on some lesser-known jobs on a movie:
Line Producer: The LP on this movie is Darren Demetre, and when I think about not having him, or someone as good as him on the movie, I panic. There is SO MUCH specific knowledge you have to know about the actual mechanics and logistics of making a movie, and it is the line producer who is responsible for knowing all of it and making sure it works on the movie. If a movie were a rifle company, the producers would be the officers, and the line producer would be the first sergeant. He knows everything and makes everything run correctly, and it is the single hardest and most important below-the-line job on the movie.
Now, I knew all of this intellectually before we started making a movie, but watching it in action is something different entirely. Darren really does know fucking everything. He knows just about as much about film and cameras as the director and DP. He knows just about as much finance as the accountant and the producers. He knows just about as much production design as the production designer. He knows just as much about SAG and actor rules and whatever as the casting director. But not only does he know everything, he has to keep about 50+ different things going in his mind at once. He has to know everything that is going on with the movie at all times because he is responsible for it all working and being in the right place at the right time.
And most importantly, he is in charge of the budget. You don't understand how all-encompassing the budget is on a movie until you work on one and realize that EVERY decision is ultimately a budgetary one. This is because you can spend an unlimited amount of money on a creative endeavor--and even a huge budget has a limit on it--so someone has to be in charge of saying no and being the bad guy and keeping shit on track. That is also the line producer's job. Every idea or change or anything me or Nils or Bob or Sean have, the first thing we say is, "Let's run this by Darren, see if we can make it work."
There is nothing that can sink a movie faster than having a line producer who isn't capable. It's crazy how hard--and thankless--that job is. [More on line producers. And another thing to remember: Darren is doubling as the UPM on this movie, so it's like he is his own assistant.]
Production Designer: This person is responsible for everything you see on the movie that is not an actor. From Wikipedia, "Production designer is a term used in the movie and television industries to refer to the person responsible for the overall look of a filmed event such as films, TV programs, music videos or adverts. Production Designers have one of the key creative roles in the creation of motion pictures and television. Working directly with the director and producer, they must select the settings and style to visually tell the story. From early in pre-production, the production designer collaborates with the director and director of photography to establish the visual feel and specific aesthetic needs of the project. The production designer guides key personnel in other departments such as the costume designer, the key hair and make-up stylists, the special effects director and the locations manager (among others) to establish a unified visual appearance to the film."
Now go watch your favorite movie again. Everything in it--EVERYTHING--the production designer either selected themselves or had a hand in selecting, designing or making. The production designer on our movie is Eve Cauley and already Nils and I have spent hours with her, meticulously going over not just the general colors and themes of each character, but everything all the way down to the designs of the tablecloths in various scenes and what shoes the female characters are wearing.
At first you might think, "Why? Does it really matter that much?" In short, yes. Something has to go into every scene, and things don't just appear magically on their own. Then, when you consider that movies are a VISUAL medium, then it starts to make more sense. Everything you see on film--every color, every object, every shape, everything--has to be part of the specific aesthetic of that scene, and it all has to fit together into the whole tapestry of the film. Well, it doesn't have to be like that, but if you just leave it to chance or whatever, it will probably be fucked up. The mark of a great production designer, especially on a movie like this, is that you hardly notice the production design, It just seamlessly blends with the actors and dialogue and directing to create the appropriate emotional response from the audience. Many times, the difference between a great film and a good film is the production design.
Location Manager: Some movies are shot entirely on sound stages or closed environments, and so a location manager's job is either non-existent or marginal. That is not the case on this movie. We are shooting everything on location, and not only that, we are shooting in a town that is still not used to having movies around, so this is a key position.
A location manager's job is not just to make sure they find the right location for a scene, or they'd be called a "location finder." Once the location is accepted, they have to negotiate the cost to rent it from the owner, then make ALL the arrangements for the location. They have to find parking for everyone, they have to find places to put all the trailers and equipment, they have to find places for us to eat, they have to make sure the crew follows all the rules for the location and don't trash it, they have to run interference with any complaining neighbors, they have to make sure the air conditioning doesn't come on during a shoot, they have to be friends with the cops and city officials to make sure all the permits and shit are cool--they have to do, know, and be responsible for EVERYTHING about the location. You never really notice the location manager unless they screw up, and if they screw up, it can completely fuck the entire production.
Our location manager is this Cajun guy named Russell, who I think might actually know everyone in Shreveport. You ever meet someone who just always seems to be able to get shit done, no matter what the occasion or situation or dilemma? Russell is one of those dudes. I get the impression he would be a disaster as an office worker, but is a dynamo in a non-traditional job like this one.
Producer: I know what you are thinking, "Aren't you a producer, Tucker?" Yeah, sort of, but not in a traditional sense, so I am not including myself in this job description. I may be the person most responsible for this movie coming into existence, and I think I bring things to this film that almost no other person in Hollywood can bring to a film, but I am not a producer in the traditional sense.
A "real" producer is someone who understands the politics and social aspects of Hollywood, who understands the monetary and fiscal aspects of filmmaking, who understands how to balance the creative demands of the director and actors and production designer with the budgetary concerns of the line producer, someone who is emotionally intelligent enough to lead a large group of people and still understands the meta issues of distribution, financing, marketing, and other issues involved in the movie business.
This person isn't really me (at least not yet). On this movie, it's Sean McKittrick. Sean is a "real" producer--he started in Hollywood as an assistant, made his bones at New Line and then made his name by busting his ass to produce Donnie Darko (with Richard Kelly). I have only had a few opportunities to sit down with Sean and pick his brain, but even in that limited time I have learned a ton. There are just so many meta-issues to think of when making a movie, and so much of that knowledge you can't read about or find on Google. Sean knows all that because he has not only worked inside the system for years, he's succeeded both inside (at a major studio) and outside of it (as an independent producer). He has the experience that Nils and I don't have, and is able to guide us in a way that is just so crucial. Nils and I may have all the creative ability on earth, but without a skilled guide, it is useless. Sean is that guide.
These are just a few of the jobs that I will take the time to try to explain; later on, I'll go over other key roles, like the 1st AD, Gaffer, etc, once I work with them and actually see how hard their jobs are in person. It's one thing to hear about it or read about it. It's another to see them do their job and think to yourself, "Thank god this person is here. I could never do this. We'd be fucked without them."
I have had that exact thought about ten times since I got to Shreveport.
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Two nights ago, one of my good friends who is a lawyer in east Texas came to Shreveport to hang out with us.
He is a member of the "I've lost a lot of money here so give me free stuff" club at The Horseshoe Casino, so we decided to watch the Celtics/Lakers game there, then go gamble. One of the benefits of that club is this private VIP room with free drinks and food and big lounge chairs and huge flat screens, which is where we watched the game. Me, Nils, Sean McKittrick, Benson and my buddy were downing vodka clubs and because the game was such a blowout, we started fucking around with the people who work there, one woman in particular. She was a huge black woman, all fat and jovial and full of raucous laughter. She was a Lakers fan, so of course we were busting on her:
Woman "It's aight. They comin' back. Kobe gonna get it, he coming. You'll see, he comin."
We were at least 7 or 8 vodkas into the night at this point, and before I can even make a joke, Nils belts out in his deep baritone:
Nils "Yeah, he's coming alright, he's coming to rape THE SHIT out of you!"
Of course I busted up laughing, but pretty much everyone else in the room stopped and looked over at us. I can't say for sure, I but I think McKittrick--who is a pretty normal dude and isn't quite used to our particular brand of craziness--ducked his head in anticipation of something being thrown at us.
One guy, a thick, middle-aged white guy who had a purple LSU hat and a yellow LSU collared shirt on, came over and said in a thick Louisiana drawl:
LSU guy "Did you just say you were gonna rape her?"
Nils "No, I said Kobe Bryant was gonna rape her."
LSU guy "Oh. Oh well, yeah, of course. Good call, that's funny!"
He laughed and high-fived Nils and went back to stuffing cold cuts into his jowls. People in Louisiana can take a joke.
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